In the words of a young Miami Heat fan, good job, good effort. In an off-season to forget for the New England Patriots, you gave us a fun diversion. Unfortunately for you, your giving to us is done.
But keep your chin up! Patriots fans who used to loathe you now have a soft spot for a guy who says all the right things and is a rare true role model in pro sports. And hey, at least you didn't butt fumble.
It's time to look at the future, Tim. You're young, good looking, well-spoken, a two-time national champion and Heisman Trophy winner. That's a great resume.
As it turns out, your skills didn't translate to pro football, but that doesn't mean your icon status is in jeopardy. It just means it's time to shine somewhere else. It's time to join the dark side, Tim. It's time to become a talking head. It's time to start your television career.
That's where your bread is buttered! Kirk Herbstreit, Jesse Palmer and Tim Hasselbeck are just a few of the flameouts that have found a home on the tube. You probably already know this, but America loves quarterbacks. Secretly, we all wonder what it's like to be one. We have daydreams about it. We want to know the feeling of running out to a full stadium, tens of thousands there to see you, millions more watching at home. All the glory, all the pressure, squarely on your shoulders. And since we can't feel that feeling, we need others to tell us about it. We need people like you, Tim, to give us a glimpse, smile and joke about your days, and apply what you know so that we can know more about our favorite players and teams.
I'd like to say you could go the coaching route, but your throwing motion and inability to read defenses would just do more harm than good. And you don't want to keep hearing from Joe Sixpack that he'd be better than you, right? That's gotta be annoying.
So get measured for some new suits and don't be ashamed to wear make-up. Think of it as camouflaged eye-black. You can still shine under the (TV) lights. You can still show off for millions of football fans. It's just not going to happen throwing the football.